Hello everybody. Hope you all are doing well and have had a great week. As for me, I’ve been ok I guess, maybe a bit blah, but I’m hanging in here. Today I wanted to share a question I asked in another group because as of yet, I don’t have enough subscribers to pose my questions here so I have to go with what works. But I am definitely interested in your responses to my questions as well. So please comment and let me know what you think.

If you got married to someone who became chronically sick immediately after getting married, and there is no cure, how likely are you to leave your spouse?

 

Reader response:  I hope to Christ you are asking this question for another reason or agenda and not because your spouse is sick. Seriously. Because if your spouse is sick and you are considering LEAVING, that means you are a huge piece of shit.

Marriage vows: to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.

Caring and loving a sick person is part of marriage. And it eventually happens in every marriage because everyone becomes elderly eventually and dies.

I hope this is a very dumb hypothetical question but either way, it sounds like you do not understand the meaning of marriage, love, or empathy, and I would say you are a malignant narcissist who shouldn’t be in any relationship with anyone. Seriously mentally ill.

 

My response:  Hello and thank you for your response. I would have answered the exact same way. Unfortunately, I am the one who happens to be the sick narcissist. In 2010 while pregnant with our one and only daughter at age 40, the doctor gave me a laundry list of illnesses that I had developed, including but not limited to Systemic Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Stiff Person Syndrome, kidney disease, Sjogren’s, Raynaud’s, etc.. and there’s a lot more etc…. But 5 years later, this man who I loved and adored so much, the same man who gave me the strength to go on and was so supportive every step of the way, and pretty much kept me alive, this man who I thought was like a gift from above, unlike any other, one day he said to me, I did not sign up to be with a sick woman. Shortly thereafter, he moved out of our bedroom, my daughter moved in to my bedroom, and here we are a couple of years later, co-parenting in the same house while I patiently put up with all his shit. Just like someone flipping a switch, that’s how fast he stopped loving me. One day he was my angel and the very next day, the only way for him to have any happiness was by putting me down and making me cry as often as possible.

I always appreciated him so much and treated him like the king he was, and if he would have asked me for the stars, I would have spent the rest of my life building a ladder to get them for him. I loved him with intensity, fervor and passion and I thought he loved me the same way because that’s how he mad me feel, and yet, unbeknownst to me, it was all a lie and I still wonder what happened and what his end game is. If he really loved me at any point in our marriage, how could it be so easy for him to turn on me and literally be so vicious it stings. The one man I loved the most , who I believed was the epitome of true love, was the one who hurt me the most. Even my first husband who battered me for 13 years didn’t hurt me as much as my 2nd husband did. 1st husband broke my ribs, but 2nd husband broke my heart and condemned me to a life of misery, depression and loneliness.

He asked me for a divorce once and I refused. He made vows to me and one of those vows was to love me in sickness and in health and I rather die before I give him a divorce and condone his broken vows. It still hurts to see him everyday but my daughter is now 7 and doesn’t understand what’s going on right now and she shouldn’t have to be caught in the crossfire. And I also stay because after getting sick, I also lost my job and only have limited funds to live off of. The depression alone is literally killing me slowly, but it’s not about me, him, or us anymore. It’s about that little girl who deserves to have both of her parents together even if by doing so I have to be made to feel less than. I stopped caring about me the very day he uttered those words to me and at that point, I stopped living and am now only surviving, but she is the only thing that counts and I’m willing to be miserable in exchange for her happiness.

Till death do us part……..

 

I received quite a few responses to this question, some were mean, some shared their personal stories and some took a religious approach.  But once again, I’d really like to know what my favorite audience thinks, so please comment below.

 

Goodnight butterflies,

Ria Robi

🦋

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