My Will Can Not Be Broken

Hey guys.  Hope everyone is doing great.  In case you didn’t realize, I haven’t been around much in the past couple of weeks.  I don’t even know how to begin…..

For the past couple of weeks, as I was trying to finalize the last remaining revisions to my site so that I could get things rolling, the job that should have taken 4 days at most, of a sudden turned into one week, then two weeks, then three weeks, and then more and more money was required.  And the whole time, the site was slowly and cleverly being destroyed piece by piece from the administrative side by the designer I paid to complete the site.  This girl had some nerve.  Since she had administrative access, she used it at first to change all my passwords because she said they weren’t strong enough.  How would she know they weren’t strong enough if I never gave them to her.  So she took all my passwords and changed them, ultimately locking me out of my account.  She then assigned me access to my site with user credentials that looked like this:

User:  Easy

Password:  Easy123

This is the super secure login info that was supposed to replace my “not strong enough” passwords.  I also had about 5 different admin accounts setup which I was saving for a specific reason and one day she messages me saying that she has deleted all my “useless” email logins (ALL OF THEM!), and replaced everything with my personal email account of 25 years that I only use for family.  Where did she get it from?!?!?!?!  I’m still in shock.  But since she still wasn’t done messing with me, she removed my private login and changed it once again and gave me the user name “admin” and gave herself the user name “SuperAdmin”.  I still really can’t get over this.  But not only was she messing with the admin side, clearly performing illegal and unauthorized activities, The wasn’t enough for her.


She was also sabotaging the front end of the site as well.  Whenever I sent her a list of revisions, she would maybe take care of 1 or 2 items and disregard the rest and then mess with items that were already approved and perfect and messing it up.  For example, when she started the job, I thought she was doing great. She really is talented, I can’t take that away from her, but anyway, I was so impressed when she finished the contact page that I just raved to her how much I love doing it.  It was absolutely perfect and even better than my vision for it.  I know it seems silly to fall in love with a contact page but I have OCD when it comes to having things a certain way and I do not rest until whatever it may be, is perfect in my eyes.  And she definitely made it perfect.  And the next day, it was gone, disappeared, nowhere to be found, deleted.  She never did give me an explanation as to why she did this, but looking back now, I see that this was the point where she started befriending me and gaining my confidence so that she could test my limits.  And I think that after that, she started to realize she could do whatever she wanted because we were “friends” and she wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize the site…. she would always attributing every bad thing that happened to the site to a simple plugin that wasn’t bothering anybody.  And she had me so convinced  that every time I started to become anxious and started being rude, I would always end up apologizing to her!!!  Can you imagine?  But it wasn’t just a simple contact page that she messed up. I can now see the afternoon of what she was doing.  So she would always give me some special features to my site that I absolutely loved, I guess in an attempt to continually have me under her control.  And the thing is that I never requested these changes, but I was grateful for them.  But at the same time, she wasn’t taking care of my revisions that I repeatedly had to keep mentioning in the daily notes of revisions.  So now, it was made to appear as if I was giving her extra work, justifying the extra time and money that she needed. But there was never extra work.  For the most part, it was the same revision list over and over plus all the things she was messing up.  So back to the special feature… one day she texted me and asked what video I wanted to use and I had absolutely no idea what I was talking about.  When I went to check on the website, there appeared such an awesome video box that was playing a very cute animation to help spread Lupus Awareness and explain the every day struggles and symptoms of a Spoonie.  I loved it, I showed it to my daughters, mom, etc..  I was so excited and couldn’t wait to launch my site featuring this video.  And as if she was dangling a carrot above my head and then taking it away, the very next day, the video was gone.  And after repeated attempts of asking her to please put it back and always have my request ignored, I had to go on YouTube to find a temporary video that I could use, still hoping that by the end of the job, she would replace it.  But that never happened.  Instead there were more special features that I was never able to actually keep.


One final example of her sabotage occurred after giving her the specifications for my donation page.  Anybody can tell you how thorough and specific I am about any little detail.  So what can take the average person, maybe a sentence or two to describe what they want, I would often need at least two or three paragraphs just so that I could make sure everything was clear and done correctly.  So I send her the instructions along with the login info, user name and password, into my donation site in case she had any other questions.  Not only did she not read my directions or go into the 3rd party donation page, but she had the gall to set up what would appear to be a normal, functioning page.  But when I went in to check behind her, it was so obvious that she had done nothing but copy and past my own content, used an unauthorized icon and included a broken link to nowhere.  Had she of read the instructions, she would have known exactly what needed to be done, but instead, I had to go in and perform the job I paid her to do, without me having a lick of experience with anything having to do with coding or web site building.  But the directions were so concise that I was able to go in, download and activate the plugin, insert the HTML code where it needed to go, and connected the correct widget which I attached to the link to my site.  When I confronted her about this, there were no apologies, no it must have been a mistake, no explanation whatsoever.  Her only response was how did I learn about HTML  coding.


There is so much more, but since I don’t know how to tell a short story, I’m going to try to wrap it up.  At the end, when the gig was finally up, I led her to believe that everything was ok so that I could squeeze a few minor revisions in, but she was intentionally screwing up these revisions as well, but right before my eyes, she started deleting other things, and when I asked about this, she said that I told her to erase the content and that now I would need a designer to build the page. She also went about changing my business email to an address that I did not own or had access to on at least 5 different occasions.  And ever time I would reverse it back and fix it, she would change it again, over and over. II also failed to mention that on 3 separate occasions, the hosting company took my site away from me, claiming it wasn’t mine and I would have to go through extensive conversations, most of which easily ran for over 4 or 5 hours, and then also had to go through their verification protocol which would last for days without me having access to my site. I was finally able to regain access into my site today and although I still can’t gauge the extent of damage that occurred on the admin site, but the front end doesn’t appear too bad, probably requiring just a few quick fixes that I do not know how to make, but at least the site is up and running again, or so I hope,  but we’ll see how it goes.  So if you see any wonky stuff and broken links, just know that this is not intentional and I will have it fixed as soon as possible.


And for the record Ms. Designer Lady, I can’t be kept down, I won’t be kept down and you will never stop me from succeeding. You may think that you have broken my spirit, but you don’t have the power to do that.  Here I am, exactly where I want to be, doing what I love to do, and not you, or anyone else will deter me from continuing this journey amidst other Lupies and Spoonies who know what it’s like to fight a battle everyday, and United, we are so much stronger than you think.


On a side note, since she rerouted my mail on multiple occasions, I have not been receiving any mail from my service provider.  But now that everything has been resolved, if you were trying to get in touch with me, or trying to post your own blog or comment, please reach out to me again at and I will get back to you as soon as possible.  Finally, I also wanted to mention that I appreciate  each and every one of you for not abandoning me and sticking around when I was clearly not active with the site.  That truly means a lot to me so thank you so much.


Anyway my beautiful butterflies, I really hope that you enjoy the rest of your day and I’ll be sending you an infinite supply of virtual spoons to make your day a little easier.  Talk to you soon guys.


Ria Robi


1 thought on “My Will Can Not Be Broken

  1. Stay safe, stay well and have a good day and rest of the week too 😊


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